This morning a friend’s 3 year old daughter was playing with her “dinosaur explorer” playmobil set. She had the little man riding the motorcycle, and she told her mom that the “wife” couldn’t ride it. The following conversation ensued:

Mom: Why not?

Daughter: It’s the man’s.

Mom: What if she has to go somewhere?

Daughter: The man will drive her and drop her off.

Mom: Why? That doesn’t make any sense. Why can’t she just drive the motorcycle herself?

Daughter: Because the man said.

Mom: Why does he get to make the rules?

Daughter: Just because. The man makes the rules.

Mom: That’s not true at school is it? Your teacher makes the rules, and she’s not a man.

Daughter: In the classroom she makes the rules. But when we’re playing the girls don’t make the rules.

Insert “aaarggg!!!”  It can be aggravating, you try your best to instill a sense of confidence and self-love in your growing girl, only to hear her echo generations of instill patriarchy and gender bias. Even at a young age, girls are picking up on cultural bias that feeds them the message that boys are dominant to girls.  This is the age when children are sorting out gender differences at that stage, and kids are amazingly intuitive, and they will definitely pick up on what they experience outside the home.

So, what to do?  Read and share books with strong female characters to your daughter.  Read at books with strong girls as central Characters (Oz, Little Women, Little House series, even Harry Potter).  For example, there are the Goddess girl series such as Athena the Wise, or read an inspirational, real life story such as Something Out of Nothing about Madame Curie.  Having these books around naturally gives a child a sense that they can be in charge of their own destiny/make the rules.

Boy and girl, or two girls? What does your mind's bias tell you?